Saturday, June 5, 2010

Heavy heart


I went to Lorma last Thursday (June 3) for further evaluation of my major subjects. Na-evaluate na iyong minor subjects ko dati. Plan ko kasi mag-enroll ulit and take up IT as suggested by my sister (for migration purposes). I finished BS Computer Science ten years ago (March 2000).

I talked to the Dean (Maam Nano). I asked her if I'm allowed to take up only some major subjects, kung baga, pipili na lang ako ng subjects (ex. Web development, Internet & Multimedia, System design & analysis etc) tutal I won't be needing an IT diploma, because I already have my BSCS diploma. She said it's okay (for her) but I have to talk to Maam Rivera (registrar) first & ask her if it's allowed.

So I went to see Maam Rivera (at the gym, because enrollment ng non-nursing 2nd year students that day). Nung papalapit ako sa table niya, napansin ko nag-side glance siya sa akin. She was going over with some papers that time kasi nagpapapirma ang mga students. Nung wala ng students sa table niya, I approached her and asked about my case. I told her graduate na ako ng compusci and I'm interested to get a refresher course sana and if it's allowed to take up only major subjects, parang more of enhancement of skills. She asked what course would I be taking.
Anyway I told her, "kung allowed po sana na pipili ako ng major subjects para ma-refresh ang utak ko sa mga programming tools/languages ngayon. Then she asked again, this time, mataas na ang tono ng boses niya. "Ano'ng kurso nga ang kukunin mo??? Nursing? IT?" (Huh..hindi pa ba obvious? Enhancement of skills nga di ba? Okay siguro may konti akong fault doon kasi hindi ko siya nasagot when she first asked me what course i'm taking, but that doesn't give her the right to raise her voice at ipahiya ako sa ibang tao). I said, "IT po ah kasi iyon ang related sa course ko dati na computer science..kaya nga po sinabi ko kanina na gusto kong ma-enhance ang skills ko." (I don't really think I have a skill pagdating sa programming...anyway, iyon kasi ang sinabi ni Maam Nano na sabihin ko kay Maam Rivera). Medyo uminit na rin ang ulo ko this time kasi feeling ko pinapahiya na niya ako. Nakatingin na ang mga students sa direction namin. Then she asked again kung ano raw ba ang gusto kong gawin. Then I told her again that I'm there to ask her if it's allowed to take up major subjects only sa IT tutal I'm not after the diploma. I told her Maam Nano (dean, computer studies) that she's okay with the idea. Then nag-flare up na ulit siya. She said, "Eh nagusap na pala kayo, bakit niyo pa ako kailangang tanungin?!?" I'm starting to get irritated na sa kanya. I told her, "inutusan po ako ni Maam Nano na tanungin kayo kung i-allow ninyo iyong ganung setup at kung kailangan daw po ninyong pagusapan ay tawagin ko lang daw siya sa office niya".

Then parang naha-high blood na siya and halos pasigaw niyang sinabi na, "hindi pwede yan!!! kailangang sundin kung ano ang nakalagay dito (pointing sa checklist ng IT) Kung mage-enroll ka, ano'ng year ka magsisimula? 1st year? 2nd year? 3rd year?" I told her "i'm hoping magstart ako as a 3rd year student".

Then she said ginalit ko raw siya.
Huh!?! Eh ano kaya ang tawag sa ginawa niya sa akin?!?

I just stood there in front of her table. Obviously galit na nga siya. Then lumapit ang ibang students para magpapirma. Then lumapit ako sa table at kinuha ko iyong umbrella ko and I excused myself na. I went back to see Maam Nano pero closed na ang office niya. Nakita ko siyang pumasok sa rest room, and pumasok din doon si Maam Rivera. I also saw Mr. Cepriaso (mukhang galing din siya sa gym) & papasok na siya sa office niya. I asked him if he happens to know of a short term course related sa programming. He said merong open na ganun dati pero wala raw nagiinquire kaya hindi nabubuksan. Then he suggested na kausapin ko na lang daw iyong mga IT instructors doon sa school at magpa-tutor na lang ako every saturday or sunday, mas makakamura pa raw ako. I thanked him for his suggestion siyempre.

Then I saw na lumabas si Maam Nano, I approached her. Siya ang unang nagsalita. She said pinagalitan daw siya ni Maam Rivera. Ginalit ko raw siya.
I'm not so sure na if ginalit ko siya, or ginalit siya ni maam nano. I told her iyong nangyari sa gym. Siya pa ang humingi ng pasensiya..to think na hindi naman niya kasalanan. I just told her na balik na lang ako after lunch para pagusapan iyong case ko.

I had a heavy heart walking alone away from the school. I didn't expect that to happen. When I reached the waiting shed, sumakay ako sa tricycle and went to CSI. I had my lunch at goldilocks. Maraming tao. Walang vacant na table so naki-share ako ng seat. I'm about to finish my dessert when I saw Maam Rivera and her son standing at the counter. Deym! Whattaday! I should've finished my food faster & got out of here before they arrived! But how the heck should I have known?!

Umupo sila sa tabi ng table ko. Of all places naman huh! Parang ang dami namang vacant seats na that time.

Anyway, before I left the place, I approached her and said, "Pasensiya na po sa nangyari sa gym kanina". I really didn't know bakit ako humingi ng pasensiya kahit alam kong wala akong masamang ginawa..pero pakiramdam ko kasi may kasalanan ako kasi nagalit siya.

Obvious pa ring irritated siya sa akin. Then parang she said, "Let's not talk about that anymore. I'm about to have my lunch here..please lang". Sarcastic pa rin ang dating.

Hindi ko na lang sana siya kinausap. Lalo lang tuloy akong napahiya. I left the place again with a heavy heart.

I felt like crying na that time. I went to see my friend working at a derm clinic sa 2nd floor. Pero close iyong clinic. Annual company outing pala nila. So I went down again, went to the rest room and nag-retouch ng konti.

I was planning to go back to Lorma and talk to Maam Nano but I changed my mind na. Nawalan na ako ng gana. I decided not to enroll there na.

Tumambay muna ako sa stall ng mga musical instruments doon. Inaliw ko muna ang sarili ko sa pagtugtog ng mga alam kong kanta. Ang ganda ng keyboard, iyong worth P9000. Type ko talaga but I don't have a budget for that. I checked the guitars. May type ako doon electric guitar. Nakipagchikahan ako ng konti sa may-ari ng stall. Member pala siya ng band. Ang galing niyang tumugtog ng keyboard pero guitar daw talaga ang hawak niya. Buti na lang at gumaan ng konti iyong pakiramdam ko that time. Iba talaga ang effect ng musika 'no.

I bought the guitar =)

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